Did you know that low self-esteem can make you more susceptible to stress?  When you lack adequate self-worth, life seems a lot tougher.  Remember, that most stress is considered personal stress or stress that is centered or created within our minds.  That doesn’t make this stress is any less real or easier to deal with.  However, poor self-esteem can cause the imagination to run wild, the comments of others to hurt more and the faith in one’s self to be non-existent. 

According to The Everything Self-Esteem Book by Robert Sherfield, Ph.D.,  “self-esteem is the picture we hold of ourselves in our own mind and the value we place on ourselves…Unhealthy self-esteem is having a negative, pessimistic, disapproving view of yourself and the inability to see beyond your limitations and problems.”  The book goes on to outline the “public self versus the private self”, which can be quite different on several levels.   What we choose to reveal to the outside world can be a shield for our fragile inner self. 

If you don’t feel good about yourself, or how others perceive you, you become more easily rattled by challenges, criticism and disappointments.  The same book states, “…self-esteem is largely dependent on the goals we have for ourselves and the degree to which we reach those goals.  Self-esteem is weakened or damaged only by negating or failing at things that are important to you.” 

If you are feeling extremely stressed out and that life is out of control for you, examine your feelings about yourself and set a goal to strengthen your self view.   Also, consider these tips:

• Take better care of yourself. 
• Make time for yourself, do things you enjoy at least once per day.
• Meditate on the good things that you have accomplished.
• Spend time with people who help you feel good about yourself.
• Be grateful and thankful for all of the blessings in your life.

Unhealthy self-esteem can lead to negative thought processes and behaviors.  These can affect your life for the worse and not only cause stress, but make other stressors more severe.  Work to improve your self-esteem and you will surely decrease the stress in your life.

–Nova Yeoman, Certified Stress Management Coach

Since becoming a stress management coach,  I can see how my knowledge has changed my overall perception of anything related to behavior, circumstance and even tragedy.  I used to view life as an ongoing situation that includes things that merely happen to us while we suffer with little or no control over anything related to our destiny.  Health, family, finances, career, those things depended on many factors, but few had to do with me and my choices, right?  Wrong!  That is the foundation and essence of stress management.  Really understanding how we can affect change in our own lives; recognizing how we have more control than we think is truly the difference between living a full and enriched life or facing an almost certain death.

This weekend, I visited a friend of my family, whom, unfortunately, laid in a hospital bed after having had a heart attack–at age 38.  I’ve always seen her as a strong, spunky, funny, outgoing person who brightened up a room upon entering.  However, seeing her lying there, hooked up to machines, and IVs made me want to cry.  Fortunately, she was conscious after having successfully undergone heart surgery to repair an artery.  The first thing I said to her was, “Maybe now you’ll slow down a bit.”  Everyone in the room concurred. 

She has been struggling to manage a household as a single mother of 3 boys while dealing with the unfortunate fact that her home is in foreclosure and she will have to vacate before the end of the month.  I couldn’t help but to think of all the stress she has been under lately and how stress affects a woman even more detrimentally, as it can literally make our hearts more susceptible to cardiovascular disease and heart failure.

The stress hormones, primarily cortisol and adrenaline, counteract the essential female hormone estrogen.  When estrogen hormone levels drop, plaque begins to quickly build in arteries, restricting vital blood flow.  I couldn’t help but to think of this as I looked at this young mother fighting for her life.  In addition to her stressful life, she admitted that she has been smoking a lot lately–even more than usual.  I didn’t even ask about physical activity.  I doubted she had made time for a work out regimen these days.   I just thought to myself that now is the best time to get a new lease on life and learn from this experience, as she is expected to recover.  Hopefully, her second chance at life won’t be wasted, since we know that many of us don’t get a second chance, so think how rare a third or fourth would be. 

I share this story because it is of great import to all women!  We are the care takers and the nurturers and the warriors who fight for those we love.  Yet, we neglect our own needs.  We ignore our own health and forget about our own desires.  We deny our own spirits.  We fail to seek harmony within our minds or work towards a healthy balance for our bodies with exercise, and good eating.  But as I mentioned at the outset, we are not the victims that we appear to be. 

Life isn’t just a bunch of stuff that happens to us.  We do have control, much more than we think!  It’s probably safe to say that at least 95% of the things that stress us out in life are the result of our own decisions, our choices, our actions, our behaviors, our perceptions, and sadly, our lack of direction! 

We as women must realize that we can effectuate change in the lives of all whom we care about, but  we must do so in our own lives–first.  Please don’t let stress break another woman’s heart–including yours. 

• Learn how to manage your stress. 
• Get some exercise at least 3-4 times per week 30-45 minutes each time. 
• Eat right and nurture your mind and spirit. 

It can save your life and the lives of everyone who depend on you!

Yours truly,

Nova, Certified Stress Management Coach, Woman, Friend, Daughter and Mother

Throughout generations, people from all walks of life have strived to understand dreams–what they mean for us now and even in the future.  Dreams are thought to be windows into our subconscious; a subconscious that holds the secrets of our hopes, aspirations, wants and fears.  It has been said that to unlock the subconscious mind is to open the door to unlimited mental potential.  Since much of our stress stems from the subconscious, our unconscious, dream state, is actually a portal into ourselves that is rarely seen or understood. 

If you are prone to worry about your present or future, that anxiety stems from a fear that is buried deeply within your subconcious.  If you could locate the source of that fear, would you not be able to eliminate it, thus eliminating the stress that is connected with it?  That is the whole idea behind a stress management technique called “Dream Journaling”. 

dreaming

Dream journaling is a mental training technique that involves consistently and meticulously recording and tracking your dreams.  If you are like many who say they can’t remember their dreams upon waking, try keeping a dream journal by your bed. As soon as you open your eyes, start recording the dream world that you just left.  Write down any detail, no matter how minute.  Continue to practice this technique daily.  Eventually, you will begin to remember more and more of your dreams as patterns emerge.  This type of reflection can be equated to meditation and self-analysis that can help you to seek out and uncover sources of anxiety or stress that is negatively impacting your life.  Consider what your dreams could be telling you about the direction your life is heading, your feelings of self-worth and your connection with others.  If necessary, do some dream research to discover what some of your dream symbols mean. 

Dream journaling is a tool that can be used in connection with other stress reduction tools to help you gain true knowledge of self.  The more you know about yourself, the better equipped you are to handle stressors and pressures that come your way.  If you are grounded and centered in true consciousness of self, you are less likely to buckle under the weight of stress, but instead will stand tall with a shield of enlightenment. 

Remember that stress is a dual edged sword, a trigger and a response.  Thus, understanding the sources of stress is the best way to break the cycle and reclaim control over a stress riddled life.  So, tonight before you go to sleep, place a journal by your bed.  Then close your eyes and concentrate as you are slowly transported into your dream world.  Look for clues and messages from your subconscious;  then seek to fully comprehend what they are trying to tell you.  Surprisingly, you may be able to eliminate much of your stress–through your dreams.

–Nova Yeoman, Certified Stress Management Coach

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My son is a bright, loving and kind young man who enjoys being a big brother.  However, from the age of 6, he was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD as it is commonly known. 

The little guy was having a really tough time in school.  During his first grade year, it became apparent that he was fidgety, lacked concentration and was not able to keep up in class like the other students.  He would continually drop his pencil, stretch his shirt and squirm in his seat.  Before I really understood what he was going through, I had been quite frustrated and rigid with him.  I thought he was just being defiant or deliberately disruptive.  After speaking to his pediatrician and completing some evaluations, it was determined that my son was in fact suffering from ADHD.  Consequently, he was placed on medication. 

The medication seemed to help him focus and concentrate, but he began to become a very somber, solemn and sad little boy.  He cried often and seemed to see only the negative side to everything.  As time passed, the mood would come and go, but there was usually a vein of sadness or negativity that stayed with him.  His self-esteem was very low and he was still unhappy in school.  He has been seeing a therapist for a few years now.  It’s been several years of adjusting the dosage of medication and subsequently changing it to see a difference.  Though his mood seemed to improve some, he would still fall back into being “Mr. Doom and Gloom”.  So much so that during his last doctor’s visit, the doctor suggested perhaps putting him on anti-depressants.  I was and still am very opposed to doing that.  I already didn’t love the idea of placing him on daily medication to treat ADHD, but I conceded because I wanted him to be able to get the most out of school.  However, anti-depressants in children have been known to make the matter much worse.  Ultimately, I began working with my son on setting goals that worked on his self-esteem, his worries and his issues with school, i.e., math being a difficult subject for him.  I started playing self-talk CD’s for him which made a great difference in his feelings of self worth.  But what put the combination into overdrive?  AROMATHERAPY!

That’s right.  I was fortunate enough to come in contact with an aromatherapist who was born in Ecquador.  She is the owner of Aromandina and the gifted person who educated me on holistic ways to treat my son’s depression.  I have begun using 3 products that she suggested:

In the morning: VIGOR – body spray mist, which naturally awakens him with peppermint and other essential oils, helps him to focus and put his best foot forward when facing every new day!

In the afternoon: EXULTO – body spray mist, which helps to lift spirits and counteracts depression and feelings of melancholy.

At bedtime:  SERENO – night time body oil, which gently and naturally works to help him fall asleep and have a peaceful rest.  Getting adequate quality sleep will help anyone feel better and function more optimally.

This 3 step combination of essential oils have been the miracle we’ve been looking for!  Within 10 days, a big difference was obvious.  My son has been upbeat and a lot more positive.  There has been an improvement in his self-esteem and the way that he behaves around others.  You can see the confidence in him now!

I am so impressed with these products that I am now incorporating the use of these into my stress management practice for my clients.   The menu of products offers something for everyone!  If clients are able to ease and alleviate many stress induced symptoms such as anxiety, frustration, insomnia and depression, they are more capable of working towards goals that will help them create new behaviors and thought processes that will ultimately reduce or eliminate their stress. 

Aromatherapy coupled with behavior modification is an excellent way to make positive and lasting changes in your life.  I am grateful I was able to help my son through stress management coaching techniques and these fabulous products!  Please visit http://www.goalsthatopendoors.com to learn how you can benefit from the same.

~

Nova Yeoman, Certified Stress Management Coach

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Stress in all of its detail can be broken down simply by saying that if

you want to manage or reduce it, you must:

 

Discover it.

Record it.

Do something about it.

 

Pretty simple?  It actually can be. 

 

For all of us with stress, we need to discover the source.  And I am

sure there are many.  But once the sources of stress are discovered,

it’s no longer an unknown, faceless monster.  It becomes something

more tangible that we can set our minds to do something

about–whenever possible. 

 

Then we must write them down.  “Today, I was stressed out

because I got off my diet and I felt pretty guilty.”  “Today, I felt

stressed out because I worked so hard on a project and no one

seemed to care or give me the credit I feel I deserve.”  By

recording where the stress lies, do you not see the problem

more clearly? 

 

Once you can put a face on the beast and then describe the

details of it’s shape, now you are better able to determine

what to do, if anything. 

 

“I can work harder starting right now to continue to eat

healthier.  I can’t change what I have already done, but

I can do better starting right now.”  “I know I worked hard

on that project and even if no one else notices, I’m proud

of myself.  I will record what I have done and present it with

other facts during my performance review.”

 

For deeper issues or more long term stressors, you can

create action goal plans that will help you to improve.

 

Goal:  To lose 3 pounds by maintaining a healthy eating

regimen by September 15th.

Obstacle: Falling off the diet.

Action Step:  Plan ahead for cravings by eating smaller meals

more often. 

Action Step: Allow myself one day per week to indulge in

one “treat”.  But only that one.  I will look forward to it because

I will have earned it.

Action Step: Go out to eat less often and prepare meals at home.

 

Obstacle:  Not exercising.

Acton Step:  Taking the stairs instead of the elevator or escalator.

Action Step: Walking the dog at least 15 min. 2x per day.

Action Step: Taking an aerobics class at least 1 x per week.

 

Now you have a course of action to take.  Your brain has a map

and a clear plan.  If you want to get there, you have to travel

this path.  It’s an amazing tool that really works!  And it works

with anything! Anything you want to do!  If you are serious about

reducing and in some cases eliminating stress, you will achieve it by following the

program briefly outlined above.

 

Seek to discover the source of stress, record it, and then do

something about it.  Even if you decide there is nothing you

can do.  Just making that decision alone relieves you of a burden. 

So it helps you to move on to something that you can do

something about, which will act as a stress reliever on its own.

 

Stress is not going anywhere, but it isn’t something that has to

take over your life.  You can manage it.  You just have to be

consistent, persistent and ready for a change.

~~

–Nova Yeoman, Certified Stress Management Coach

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News of a global recession with infamous bankruptcies, bailouts and backlash are all considered common knowledge.  Everyone has seen it, heard it and above all felt it.  Yet even with the staggering unemployment rate, there are companies that forge ahead or seek to rise from the ashes.  However, they have new challenges to face, namely operating a leaner, more efficient and profitable enterprise based on human resources that could be considered an unstable liability. 

Today’s applicant pool is an overflowing sea of uncertain, insecure, and unsettled individuals, most of whom are currently unemployed.  For those workers who are fortunate enough to still have a job, these are just as tainted by the effects of the economy, rounding out a labor market that is suffering from unprecedented stress and stress related disorders.  The fear of losing a job has paralyzed most staffers who have become dissatisfied with having to make up for a reduced headcount with increased duties, longer hours and compensation that has become stagnant.   As such, properly staffing a position involves more than just seeking a qualified candidate and finding the proper fit.  Businesses today must consider how job related stress is negatively impacting productivity, costs of recruiting and ultimately the bottom line.  Absenteeism, workplace accidents, on the job violence, employee turnover, increased healthcare costs and workers’ compensation awards are all noted results of a stressed out workforce.

Like it or not, stressed out employees are bad for business, but these days most people are under enormous pressure due to financial obligations, lack of support, family conflict, and other social/economic conditions. As the market has plummeted feelings of helplessness and hopelessness has skyrocketed.  More now than ever stress is being recognized as a destructive force that is weakening the individual mentally, emotionally and physically; impairing those who are needed to help rebuild what has been lost.

What can be done to proactively respond to the threat?  Despite economic concerns and budget tightening, many companies are beginning to discover the benefits of stress management, wellness and other employee assistance programs.  As a stress management coach, I see job stress as the number one stressor reported among my clients.  Work life transcends into personal and family life, so getting job stress under control is vital to seeing a difference in the quality of life across the board. 

Comprehensive stress management programs that teach how to recognize early signs of stress; how to focus on individual stress triggers; how to develop action plans and processes to reprogram negative responses to stress, as well as simple and effective relaxation techniques, are all proactive ways to create a well adjusted workforce able to manage and in some cases eliminate stressors.

Goals that Open Doors (www.goalsthatopendoors.com) offers affordable stress management courses and seminars that are generally taught via teleconference.  Job Stress Busters is a 90 minute seminar that discusses how to discover and manage job stressors while utilizing effective breathing and meditation techniques.  Revamp, Refresh, Relax is a 90 minute seminar that reveals signs of stress, types of stress, and how to relieve the stress response through a variety of calming techniques.  A more inclusive 10 week program is also available, offering an individual stress profile test and stress portfolio enabling clients to make fundamental changes with lasting results.

Today’s workers are tired, scared and unsure of their future. Stress management helps to ease those burdens and help focus positive energy to create solutions that can fortify individuals for the tough journey that lies ahead.

–Nova Yeoman, Certified Stress Management Coach

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Are you a stress addict?  That depends. 

Has anyone ever called you a “drama queen” or a “drama king”?  Has anyone ever said, “someone could make a reality show out of your life”, and you just smiled or chuckled?  When you come home from a long day, do you immediately turn on the television?  Do you watch the news and sit up more erect for the stories that include mayheim and chaos?  Has anyone ever described you or your lifestyle as extreme?  Do you find yourself uneasy with silence or quiet?  Do you have to have a television or radio on just to help you fall asleep?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may in fact be a stress addict. 

This is the point where you might wonder, “What is a Stress Addict?”  A stress addict is a person who places themselves in stressful situations or even encourages the stress in their lives to continue.  The “drama” is exciting and opens the floodgates of adrenaline which gives the body a boost, resulting in  heightened awareness, a rapid heartbeat, faster breathing, a quickened response or sharper thinking.  The hormones that naturally occur in response to a perceived threat as the “fight or flight” response can cause such a change in the body that  a person could begin to crave that response over and over again.  Basically, you become addicted to the “adrenaline rush” and either consciously or subconsciously decide that life is better being lived on the edge or as chaoticly as possible.

However, with most addictions, being a junkie for stress can begin to have negative effects on the body, mind and spirit.  If you are in fact addicted to a fast, drama-filled lifestyle, could it be that something else is missing and to slow down for just a bit will expose the void?  To sit quietly to hear your own thoughts would open you up to an inner conflict that you would rather drown out?

It’s great to enjoy life and live it to the fullest.  However, if you live like there is no tomorrow, most likely when tomorrow or the next day or the next day actually does arrive, you will have caused such a wear and tear on yourself, that you can no longer enjoy those days.  Ultimately, living life to such an extreme will actually shorten your life span.

To live life to the fullest, consider seeking a balance instead of your next stress fix. 

• Learn as much as you can about the stress in your life.  Some stress is actually a good thing and keeps life interesting, but you need to discover the stress that is insidious and poisonous.  This is the stress that can cause long-term damage leading to mental break downs, chronic or terminal illness, obsesity, drug/alcohol addictions and even suicide.
• Learn to relax.  Enjoy the fun, fast paced, even chaotic things that can occur in life, but only in moderation.  Get the good out of it and then move on into a place of calm and peace.  Practice deep breathing and other meditation forms to help bring your body down from the stress response. 
• Laugh, love and leap for joy.  Things in life that bring us the most happiness and contentment may not be fast paced or cause an adrenaline rush, but should they be considered any less important or relevant?  A quiet night at home with the family.  A walk through the park.  A peaceful dinner for two.  Laughing out loud and often.  Loving your children and your mate.  All of these may not get your blood pumping, but they serve as stress relievers that counteract the stress hormones, which leads to a  serene state of mind.

Stress has its place in the lives of us all.  It’s certainly not going anywhere.  However, each of us has control over our response to stress.  And sometimes, we can even control how much stress we put ourselves under.  We have much more power over our stressful state than we may originally realize. 

Take control over the stress in your life and seek a proper balance.  This way, you are still enjoying a life that is complete, exciting, productive and positive, without the negative mental and physical backlash that comes from an extended overexposure to stress hormones. 

Yours Truly,

Nova

Certified Stress Management Coach & Enthusiast

Finally!–a Life without Stress.  (Or as close to it as it gets.) Learn how.

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Today’s job market places all of us in a vulnerable state.  If you are unemployed, you are most likely struggling to find work amidst steep competition and high unemployment rates. 

stressful job search

If you are fortunate enough to still have a job, but are not satisified with the current position, you face an extreme battle for jobs against the unemployed, but also against a much lower compensation scale.  Due to the lower number of open positions and higher demand for jobs, many employers have realized that they do in fact have the pick of the litter and have not only gotten more selective, but also tightened their purse strings. 

The stress that is involved with looking for work can actually become a hinderance to the search itself.  Goals That Open Doors is presenting a new e-book series – Learn to Live Stress Free.  Each e-book will tackle a topic on stress that relates to our lives on  a personal level.  The first in the series is “Take the Stress Out of Your Job Search”. 

This e-book discusses:

• What stress means to you.
• The stressful job market.
• The new rules of the job search.
• How to relieve stress and get the job.

This free e-book is available exclusively through Goals That Open Doors.  Please visit www.goalsthatopendoors.com and complete the form at the bottom of the homepage.  The e-book will be sent to you via e-mail within 24 hours.

The current economic environment can seem hopeless at times, but this e-book sheds some much needed light on the subject.  Begin to de-stress that job search today by reading this free e-book.

Yours truly,

Nova

Certified Stress Management Coach

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“What?  Me worry?”  Uh, yeah!  I’m talking to you and you and you! 

Did you know that constant worrying is a form of chronic stress that you heap upon yourself?  At this point you are probably thinking, “I would never intentionally stress myself out!”  Well, I never said it was purely intentional.  You might not know that you are doing it–well, now you know!

Those of us who get our kicks by playing out every scenario of “what if” are actually creating a source of stress stimuli that our brains perceive as a threat.  That’s right.  We are initiating our own “fight or flight” response without even knowing it.  And what happens when we are in the fight or flight mode?  Our brain instinctively releases chemicals such as adrenaline and cortisol into our blood stream.  Usually, bursts of energy, strength and brainpower are the by products of this internal cocktail.  However, over time, the same chemicals that make us smarter, faster and stronger, begin to breakdown our organs, our mental faculties and eventually, our spirits.  With each worrisome thought, we are poisoning ourselves from the inside, slowly, but nonetheless, effectively. 

Have you ever noticed a person who doesn’t seem to have a “worry in the world”?  He or she is more positive, more vibrant, more confident and let’s face it, more fun to be around.  Have you ever secretly envied such a person because you wish you could live that way?

You can stop worrying and I’ll tell you how.  STOP WORRYING.  Sounds too easy?  It’s not that easy, but it’s not as difficult as you may think.  Here are some tips.

When you feel your mind wandering into the worry zone, redirect your energy, distract yourself with positive thoughts, interactions or activities.

Stop associating with other worriers.  If they worry, you will to.  Stick with positive people who look for solutions not problems.

Reward yourself for thinking positively.  This is a way to “retrain” your brain to naturally look for the bright side and stay away from the dark.  Each reward will reinforce the new positive behavior.  Eventually, you will kick the bad habit of worrying.

 

Worrying has been thought of as a defense mechanism.  Many believe that if they worry or extend energy in thinking of all the possible outcomes, they are preparing themselves more fully for any eventuality.  However, no one can be fully prepared for an unknown future.  By worrying about things that you cannot truly anticipate or change, you are actually robbing yourself of living a productive and satisfying life.  By worrying, you speed up the aging process, which only makes you feel worse.  By worrying, you aren’t being proactive, but self-destructive.  Worrying destroys your precious peace of mind.

Worrying about tomorrow only means stress for today and tomorrow and the next day!  If you are a constant worrier, don’t worry about it.  

1. Create a plan to reprogram this negative tendancy with a positive one. 
2.  Learn stress management techniques that can help you to relax and accept the things in life that you can’t change. 
3. Lastly, remember that no one is promised tomorrow.  Don’t waste your valuable time worrying.

Live fully for today –with no worries.

Your Stress Management Coach,

Nova – www.goalsthatopendoors.com

 

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Have you ever noticed that if  something is too easy, people actually seem to shy away from it?  Sounds weird.  In today’s day and age, it seems that people are looking for the easy way to accomplish what they want out of life.  

Who hasn’t been lured by the thought of “get rich quick” or “easy money”? Who wants to get up and change the channel when you can use the remote while seated comfortably in the distance?  Who wants to do countless sit ups or crunches when you can purchase small machines that you wear around the waist that simulates the activity for you, supposedly giving you the perfect abs?  Who wants to cook when McDonald’s, KFC, Taco Bell etc. can do the cooking for you?  Who wants to use your imagination when video games, 3D movies and animated action features do all the tough stuff for us?

Yes, we are a society who enjoys easy living and as much leisure as possible.  Aren’t we?  Well, I guess it depends on whom you ask.  When it comes to stress and stress management, from my experience, people like to take the path untraveled.  They enjoy climbing up the mountain facing the wind.  (Or they prefer to do nothing at all.)  They don’t want the easy answers!  But why?  Maybe they think it’s just too easy.  Just because it’s easy doesn’t mean it’s not the right way to go.

Many stress relievers that are tried and true are actually quite easy to incorporate into one’s daily life.

• Drink more water and stay hydrated.
• Eat healthy.
• Excercise at least 30 minutes 3-4 times per week.
• Sleep well.

Sounds too easy?  Either way, these are the best ways to reduce stress and to stop stress before it starts.  I’m hear to tell you, as a certified stress management professional and coach, it’s okay to be content with easy–especially in this case.  It doesn’t have to be hard, in fact, it’s great to know that your stress responses can be counteracted by a brisk walk, a couple of bottles of water,  a healthy meal, and a good night’s rest.  

Don’t kick a gift horse in the mouth!  Just do it and enjoy the relief from the stress in your life. There are other great ways to reduce, relieve and prevent stress, but this is a great place to start.  I promise, it can’t hurt.

Your Stress Management Coach,

Nova – www.goalsthatopendoors.com

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